written by:

Nonhlanhla Gule

My tall, dark and handsome“prince charming”. Wait, I’ll make an exception. We can cancel that whole list. Just have a decent job and I promise not to expect you to open the door or pull out a chair for me. A man doesn’t have to do much to get a date these days. Some don’t even have to confirm or reassure us that we’re they’re girlfriends. We get stuck in situations where we’re not quite sure if we’re in a relationship because we talk less and do more (at a very fast pace). I think that part is called going with the flow. That flow that drowns us and leaves us feeling confused. But we don’t want to come out as being clingy or needy so we don’t ask those questions that will put us at ease. What happened to what we want as women?

I used to describe the man of my dreams to my friends, who all are now married or in long term relationships. They would laugh and say the man I mentioned would stay in my dreams and never materialise. He can’t have it all, they said. I still believe a man can have it all. Money, humility, kindness, love and style. The same way women do these days.

The tables have made a 180 degree turn in the past couple of years. Men have very high standards when it comes to picking their life partner. Beauty does not do much for us women these days. The more successful and grounded you are, the more eligible you’re considered to be. You’re even more attractive if you are an independent beauty with no kids. In order to find a decent man these days or be in a progressive relationship, you need to be able to contribute to the house hold income. We show this by offering to take care of the bill on our first date. Our material positions, like owning a car and an apartment or house, earn us brownie points. We need to be intelligent and confident. We need be able to carry great conversations and be a good buddy as well.

Should I mention it again that all that I have mentioned about qualities woman should posses is what men think we should be. We have adjusted to the current situation in the dating game to gain a competitive advantage over the next woman.
I think men need to work a bit harder to earn and keep their spot in our lives. I want to call you my MAN and want you to be the definition of that word.

 

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