Planning on going into business with your better half? There are pros and cons, be mindful of them
So many of today’s big businesses started out at home, usually in the garage converted into a sort-of home office – just look at Apple’s humble beginnings. It’s tempting, when you have what you believe is a fabulous business idea, to throw caution to the wind and get your spouse or lover to jump in with you – after all, you’re already in a relationship so of course they’ll be on board with your brilliance.

In today’s world, with so many people having to join the workforce for financial reasons, it’s not uncommon for romance to spark at the office. It’s also not uncommon for couples who have met at work to continue working together. While that’s difficult in its own way, work boundaries and roles have already been established. When you decide to go into business with your existing partner, it’s not that easy to find the line, especially if it’s a business you’re building up that needs a lot of overtime and effort.

VISION
Be certain that your spouse shares your vision. Talk it through extensively to ensure you’re on the same page. This will go a long way to avoiding confusion and possible arguments down the line when the business grows. What do you expect to get out of the business and what does your partner expect? It’s always good practise to clarify your vision before starting a business anyway, but it’s even more vital when you’re entering the arena with your spouse. Remember, too, to clarify if you need your spouse for a purely supportive role, or if they will play a more integral role within the business.

ROLE PLAY
Just as you talk through the vision, it’s wise to also talk through your roles. Who will be doing what? When starting out in a business, it’s always wise to ensure your skills and expertise are complimented by your staff or partner. However, its’ not always easy to find the right person, especially if budgets are tight. This is often where family members are drawn in; and their lack of qualifications or expertise are frequently overlooked in favour of the sense of trust or passion they might possess.

That’s great for a start-up, getting everyone to chip in where they can. But if you truly want to grow successfully, the right skill sets are vital. So the first question to ask about your spouse is whether they have what you need, purely from a professional perspective. If you’re both creative, as many entrepreneurs are, you may be better off getting in someone who is more practical. Do your skills complement each other? It’s no use if you both want to go out and sell while there’s nobody actually producing. In short, treat your spouse as a prospective employee or business partner – look critically at their CV and how their particular skill set will complement or balance your own.

RISK
Often you’ll find a long-suffering spouse behind the successful entrepreneur. Being successful in business commonly means taking risks – and those risks are frequently financial. Deciding to forgo your usual luxuries for the sake of the business is definitely a decision that needs to be shared with and backed by your spouse. There is also an upside to this; you may make more calculated risks if your entire financial life is tied up in the business, assisting you in weighing up all the options before moving forward – something that a lot of entrepreneurs find difficult to do.

Finance is key – if you’re both involved in a business, you’ve basically put all your eggs in one basket. That’s a great motivator in itself for pushing towards success, but it can become quite stressful. Financial pressure is a huge factor in relationship stress, so be aware of that.

TALK ABOUT IT
In every business partnership, trust and respect play a huge part; it’s the same with personal relationships. When you merge the two, the level of trust and respect required goes up a notch. You may have been together in a personal capacity for a long time, but do you know how your spouse with behave in a business environment?
Commonly, people display different sides of themselves in work and private situations and you may be about to discover a side of your spouse you hadn’t encountered before. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, their skills and drive can be a great boon to your business. Also, you’ll get to know them in a more holistic way, which is great for building stronger relationships. On the downside, your spouse may show a few traits you’re not that keen on.
Every relationship expert will advocate good communication. And good communication requires honesty as well as tact. One of the hardest aspects of working with a spouse is when things aren’t going according to plan or one of you has messed up.

Remember the following tips for a constructive argument:

1. Always seek to find a solution that is for the good of the company and both of you

2. It’s not about the person, it’s about the problem

3. Reframe your criticisms, turning ‘you’ messages into ‘I’ messages. For example, instead of saying, ‘You never tell me anything, I just don’t know what you do all day’, try saying ‘I know I’m a bit of control freak and it makes me feel like such a nag when I bug you all the time for updates, maybe you could just copy me in on everything instead.’

4. Be gentle, but firm – frame your criticisms within praise. For example, instead of saying, ‘That presentation is terrible’, try this ‘I really like the colour scheme of the presentation and you’ve got some fantastic points in there; can we just add in a bit more about xyz, please.’

5. Remember their uniqueness – don’t compare your spouse to another employee; acknowledge their unique skills and talents

6. Scrap ultimatums – giving your spouse a ‘do this or I’ll do that’ kind of ultimatum isn’t going to help you in your professional or personal life. It deeply undermines your levels of trust and respect.

7. Be open to taking on some of the blame. For example, you could say, ‘I really messed up; I didn’t brief you properly on this idea. I’m so impressed by what you have done, but I’d really appreciate it if we could go over the concept again.’

It’s vital to be able to separate business from personal in any work situation; but even more so when you’re living together as well. If you’ve had an argument the night before, make a huge effort not to bring that into the office. Not only will it affect your business decisions, staff will also begin to believe they can bring their personal issues to the table – and that blurs the lines for everyone.

While your staff will respect you more from a professional perspective if you keep the personal stuff at home, business disagreements in front of the staff can make them feel a bit insecure – much like having children. So, it’s best to try to remain as neutral as possible. However, when it comes to backing up a staff member, make sure you don’t let your personal relationship get in the way, especially if your spouse is actually in the wrong.
Fairness is also important – there should never be special treatment for a spouse. And, don’t be all over your spouse or too ‘lovey dovey’ – try to remain professional at all times.

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